this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
