After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
