I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
