One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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