No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
