is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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