I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
