Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
