I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
PANTIES FOUND
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
