Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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