How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
her vagine was all disorganized.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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