White coat. Heels.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
