the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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