Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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