well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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