I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
