He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
