ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
