you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
it's like iHOP with fire
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize
