Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
