I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
