My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
