I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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