That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
