I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
