y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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