I feel great
I just peed on a car
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
True college students do jello shots in the library
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
