hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
