Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
someone owes me an orgasm
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
