he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
