New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
