You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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