you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
