better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
