More tranny stories later!
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I have demons in me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
