He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
my liver is dry heaving
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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