I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
