You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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