Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
