covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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