just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
