Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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