I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
