He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think people are normalizing furries
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
