i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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