I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
