we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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