we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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