I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
