So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
