You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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