we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I am midnight drunk by noon
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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