Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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