I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
