i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
