Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
