There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
