Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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