I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
