Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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