Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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