last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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