no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
