She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
