JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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