I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
