I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He? As in you personified your dick?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
