If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
