naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
